#Introduction
Hi there! My name is
Oluwamuyiwa Akinola, am a life coach and a friend. Today, we shall be looking
into a sensitive case that individuals and most parent battle with and help
their wards overcome respectively.
It is the challenge of
overcoming low self-esteem. I have experienced what this challenge can do to a
man especially one with a humble background who tries to step up his game into
the higher class. I tell you friend, it is no play overcoming this issue.
Aside from my personal
experiences, when it comes to esteem or personal worth, I have seen parents at
different time pour out sweet words of encouragement to their wards just to
make them overcome certain mind set of low self-esteem.
Our kids are more vulnerable
to adopting a low self-esteem especially from peers who go about puffing off
their parent’s social or financial status, academic IQ and personal achievements
in life.
#Definition
To cut the chase, let’s quickly
get into what the word self-esteem means.
Self
esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Lots of folks suffer from low self esteem based on different reasons. This has
the ability to mare your destiny if not looked into and overcome on time.
I have
seen relationships filled with so much potential torn apart, job interviewed failed,
contracts denied, jobs loosed all because of low self esteem. The power to
succeed in life lies in us all. The only hindrances to tapping this enormous
potential is your inability to set a focus toward succeeding stay with a
focused vision and imagination and overcome those battles within which includes
a low self esteem.
#understanding
you power
The answer
to overcoming a low self esteem is not in books, seminars, religious rites or
sorts. The answer lies right with in. it is you finding Peace with who you are,
where you are, what you have and where you are headed for.
Trust me,
99% of all our challenges can be overcome simply by looking within ourselves.
1. Sense of insecurity. People who have a sense of
insecurity often go about with destructive relationships. At first, they are
all loving and caring. But as time goes on, there is a sense of desiring more
attention or time to themselves, this demand is most time over burdening to
their partner who eventually gets fed up and calls for a quit. Insecurity can also be felt within
organizations, religious sects, social and government arms especially between
boss and ambitious subs
2. Fear of adapting new things (change Syndrome). Have
you ever found an individual who occupies a position (say...a secretary) in a
company for like 30 years?
Often, people with a low self-esteem do not
aspire for more and, therefore never amount to much in life. Picking up
undemanding position, avoiding spotlight jobs or aiming higher is one of the
dirty trick a person with low self-esteem pulls and, them come with lots of
excuses (like, I am not qualified enough, if I had the chance, I am not
handsome or beautiful enough).
The bottom line is, confining yourself to what
is already know is a big indication of a weak self-esteem.
3. Poor communication skill. Inability to pass a
clear message of your thought or opinion is a indication of low self-esteem. Self
esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The key
virtues, on which healthy self-esteem is built in both man and women, young and
adult is summed up into the followings.
1. To live consciously is to be aware of what you
are doing at all time. You must seek to understand whatever has an impact on
your interests, values and goals. Be aware of both the world around you as well
as the world that revolves within you.
2. To be self-accepting is to be respectful and compassionate
towards yourself even at those times when you do not admire or enjoy some of your
feelings or decisions. It also means consciously refusing to reject yourself.
3. To be self-responsible is to recognize that you
are the author of your own choice and actions. You are the source of your own
fulfilment. No one is going to make your life right for you, or make you happy,
or give you self-esteem.
4. To be self-assertive is to honour your wants
and needs and look for ways to express them. Be willing to be who you are and
allow others to see it. Stand up for your convictions and values and feelings.
5. To live purposefully is to take responsibility for
identifying your goals. Perform the action that will allow you to achieve them,
and keep yourself on track and moving toward their fulfilment.
6. To live with your integrity is to have
principles of behaviour to which you remain loyal in your actions. Keep your
promises and honour your commitments.
7. Self-esteem is also dependent upon the feeling
of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel
inferior to a confident, smart individual. So, you need to take good care of
your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.
8. We all need to accept the fact that we will
fail from time to time. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of
a negative effect on us. We should think that we have not been successful this
time and that we will succeed the next time. This will help us to pull
ourselves together and move on. Such an attitude will help us overcome the most
difficult conditions.
9. Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work
or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only
happen if you are assertive about your rights. Of course, this does not mean
that you should pick up physical battles to make your point. On the contrary,
you should exercise restraint and make your point in a dignified manner. This
will not only make others treat you with respect but also increase your
self-esteem.
10. Never compare yourself with others. This is the
easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate
yourself on your achievements. Such an approach will give you self-confidence.
At the same time it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer
group.
#conclusion.
Also,
understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things.
This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out
in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline
your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively
influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad,
because of whom he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can
negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements
helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your
toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior,
rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.
Let your
child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is
constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When
children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they
learn to be self-reliant. You don't want your children growing up feeling
dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can
offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your
child's being able to think independently.
#Digest
An
excellent way to reinforce your self esteem is to praise yourself for goals accomplished.
Additionally, the bathroom mirror is an excellent spot since most individuals
will at least take one glimpse in the mirror before leaving for the day.
Be inspired!!!
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