Sunday, August 25, 2013

HOW TO OVERCOME LOW SELF-ESTEEM (IT’S IN YOUR HEAD)

#Introduction
   Hi there! My name is Oluwamuyiwa Akinola, am a life coach and a friend. Today, we shall be looking into a sensitive case that individuals and most parent battle with and help their wards overcome respectively.
It is the challenge of overcoming low self-esteem. I have experienced what this challenge can do to a man especially one with a humble background who tries to step up his game into the higher class. I tell you friend, it is no play overcoming this issue.
    Aside from my personal experiences, when it comes to esteem or personal worth, I have seen parents at different time pour out sweet words of encouragement to their wards just to make them overcome certain mind set of low self-esteem.
Our kids are more vulnerable to adopting a low self-esteem especially from peers who go about puffing off their parent’s social or financial status, academic IQ and personal achievements in life.
    #Definition
To cut the chase, let’s quickly get into what the word self-esteem means.
Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Lots of folks suffer from low self esteem based on different reasons. This has the ability to mare your destiny if not looked into and overcome on time.
   I have seen relationships filled with so much potential torn apart, job interviewed failed, contracts denied, jobs loosed all because of low self esteem. The power to succeed in life lies in us all. The only hindrances to tapping this enormous potential is your inability to set a focus toward succeeding stay with a focused vision and imagination and overcome those battles within which includes a low self esteem.
    #understanding you power
The answer to overcoming a low self esteem is not in books, seminars, religious rites or sorts. The answer lies right with in. it is you finding Peace with who you are, where you are, what you have and where you are headed for.
Trust me, 99% of all our challenges can be overcome simply by looking within ourselves.

   #Characteristics of people with low self-esteem.
1.      Sense of insecurity. People who have a sense of insecurity often go about with destructive relationships. At first, they are all loving and caring. But as time goes on, there is a sense of desiring more attention or time to themselves, this demand is most time over burdening to their partner who eventually gets fed up and calls for a quit.   Insecurity can also be felt within organizations, religious sects, social and government arms especially between boss and ambitious subs

2.      Fear of adapting new things (change Syndrome). Have you ever found an individual who occupies a position (say...a secretary) in a company for like 30 years?
Often, people with a low self-esteem do not aspire for more and, therefore never amount to much in life. Picking up undemanding position, avoiding spotlight jobs or aiming higher is one of the dirty trick a person with low self-esteem pulls and, them come with lots of excuses (like, I am not qualified enough, if I had the chance, I am not handsome or beautiful enough).
The bottom line is, confining yourself to what is already know is a big indication of a weak self-esteem.

3.      Poor communication skill. Inability to pass a clear message of your thought or opinion is a indication of low self-esteem. Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

#Building up your self-esteem
    The key virtues, on which healthy self-esteem is built in both man and women, young and adult is summed up into the followings.
1.          To live consciously is to be aware of what you are doing at all time. You must seek to understand whatever has an impact on your interests, values and goals. Be aware of both the world around you as well as the world that revolves within you.
2.            To be self-accepting is to be respectful and compassionate towards yourself even at those times when you do not admire or enjoy some of your feelings or decisions. It also means consciously refusing to reject yourself.
3.         To be self-responsible is to recognize that you are the author of your own choice and actions. You are the source of your own fulfilment. No one is going to make your life right for you, or make you happy, or give you self-esteem.
4.            To be self-assertive is to honour your wants and needs and look for ways to express them. Be willing to be who you are and allow others to see it. Stand up for your convictions and values and feelings.
5.           To live purposefully is to take responsibility for identifying your goals. Perform the action that will allow you to achieve them, and keep yourself on track and moving toward their fulfilment.
6.         To live with your integrity is to have principles of behaviour to which you remain loyal in your actions. Keep your promises and honour your commitments.
7.          Self-esteem is also dependent upon the feeling of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel inferior to a confident, smart individual. So, you need to take good care of your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.
8.          We all need to accept the fact that we will fail from time to time. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of a negative effect on us. We should think that we have not been successful this time and that we will succeed the next time. This will help us to pull ourselves together and move on. Such an attitude will help us overcome the most difficult conditions.
9.          Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only happen if you are assertive about your rights. Of course, this does not mean that you should pick up physical battles to make your point. On the contrary, you should exercise restraint and make your point in a dignified manner. This will not only make others treat you with respect but also increase your self-esteem.
10.     Never compare yourself with others. This is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate yourself on your achievements. Such an approach will give you self-confidence. At the same time it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group.
    #conclusion.
Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of whom he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.
    Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant. You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

#Digest
An excellent way to reinforce your self esteem is to praise yourself for goals accomplished. Additionally, the bathroom mirror is an excellent spot since most individuals will at least take one glimpse in the mirror before leaving for the day.

Be inspired!!!

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